LIFE

I just finished reading the book "Choosing to See" and I am amazed at how much I learned from this book. I may not have had a tragedy such as the Chapman family but seeing their faith and hearing their story has helped me in seeing my issue in a new light. My main issue is Josh's job and Kaden's eyes...none of which compare to losing a child, but with reading this book I have realized that even when it feels as though I am alone and that God doesn't care that he really does. I may not see his hand in every aspect of my life...but he is there in everything big and small. I may not get the answers to my questions when I want them or the way I want them...but God is always answering my prayers. In the book, Mary Beth Chapman talks about begging God for her daughter to be alive and well, then she later on goes on saying that she doesn't like the answer she got but that God did answer her and her daughter is alive and well in Heaven with him and that he is taking care of her. I think too many times we think our prayers are not answered because we didn't get what we wanted but in the end God will ALWAYS answer our prayers...but in His own way and in His timing. This book has really aloud me to see God for who he is as well as seeing Him as being in charge of EVERYTHING. It has helped me in dealing with Josh's job as well as the uncertainties of Kaden's eyes. I have learned that getting upset about Josh's job or Kaden's eyes wont help anything and that I just need to give it to God and patiently wait on God's PERFECT timing. God is so GOOD!

Choosing to see

I am not normally a big reader but I recently started reading a book that my mom passed on to me called "Choosing to See" by Mary Beth Chapman. I can't put the book down. Mary Beth Chapman is such an amazing woman who has dealt with many struggles as well as the death of her little girl. Her book has really caused me to look at my life as well as looking at my relationship with God. It has helped me in putting my trust in God even when things don't seem to be going the way I think or feel that they should. This book has helped me in being able to see God's love in everything big or small.

This book has also put thoughts of adoption back in my head. Josh and I have occasionally talked about this but through reading this book it has put the desire back in my heart. One funny thing is of course I really want a girl but with thinking about this...I think I would be okay with a little boy. This is something I never thought I would even think about especially after having 3 boys!! Josh and I would like to start getting more information on the process as we pray over this issue. We know at this point that we can not afford it...but we also know that if it is God's will God will direct us and provide for it. We have decided to really pray over this in order to know which way God is leading.