Recently I was asked to talk about depression at my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. I really didn't want to and even kept saying that I just couldn't do it. Through lots of prayer and encouragement from friends I felt like God was pushing me to speak...so I did. It went GREAT...way better then expected. God really helped me, by calming my nerves, giving me peace, and helping me in writing and telling my story with depression. With anyone who knows me they know that I HATE talking in front of people...I freak out, shake, sweat, and often have panic attacks, but God is SO good because as that was starting to happen I received a text from a lady in my Bible study which said "Joshua 1:8 'Be strong and courageous. Do not tremble or be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.' Praying you sense God's presence." As soon as I got this I began to feel comforted, I began to pray and I felt COMPLETE peace. I still cried as I talked but the nerves were gone and I could feel God holding me as I spoke. Through writing and telling my story I felt so much healing. I also felt so much support from many of the MOPS moms, which really has helped me. It was so hard telling these women my flaws, thoughts, and feelings that I have struggled with throughout the years. But I know that even if this didn't help any other women who might be struggling it has truly helped me with speaking out about my struggles.
Before my friend and I spoke we looked up videos to open up our talk. We found one that was perfect. There are two sentences in the beginning which refer to Suicide...but the rest of the song just reminded me of things that I feel. So we shared it with our group. I wanted to share it here.
JOSH UPDATE
Life has been crazy here. Just last week Josh started his new job which is currently on days. We are so excited that he finally is working days even though it is only until September. We are praying that a permanent day position will open but are so thankful to have him home at nights until Sept. We have been praying for a day job for 8 years!!! It has been hard getting use to having a husband home at night, but I am LOVING having dinner with him and watching the boys spend more time with him.
KADEN UPDATE
We are still struggling with Kaden's eye. We think that things are going great then we have another downfall and are unsure of what to do. We just got a note home from the school saying that during an eye test at school it showed that his eyes were not good...with his glasses. I just dont know what to do. We have been to a pediatric eye dr who fixed his prescription and we were recently there when we were told that we finally got the right prescription. I am so frustrated because he already has bad eye sight and the thought that his eyes are getting worse really scares me. We are going to try and go to another dr to figure out what is going on. Kaden is doing well in school, reading better, doing great on math, and just enjoying his class.
ASHTON UPDATE
Ashton is doing well in school. He is really enjoying it and is beginning to learn to read. He is starting to see a speech therapist for some of the letter sounds that he struggles with, but we are hoping that he wont have to see the therapist for long and that he will begin to get the letter sounds down.
BRENNAN UPDATE
Brennan has just started to be potty trained. He is doing pretty good...only one accident yesterday! YAY!!! He did get the wall and me while sitting on the potty though...lol He thought that was hilarious...especially when he got me, he couldn't stop laughing. Hopefully he doesn't think that is a game now! =)
