Wow life has really changed since I last posted! For starters after a scare with our last pregnancy, we had our beautiful rainbow baby Makenna Elizabeth Susanna, she has been such a delight and we truly treasure our little miracle. Our family feels complete with our 4 wonderful kiddos, I am so blessed.
Another huge and devastating change has been the loss of my mom who was not just my mom but my best friend. On Feb 6th, 4 days after her 60th birthday my mom died suddenly of a heart attack due to high blood pressure. Even though my mom struggled for years with MS (Multiple Sclerosis)and was in constant pain her death was unexpected and completely devastating to my family. I feel so lost without my mom and often am so alone and unsure of how to continue on. My mom is so missed and loved by myself, my dad, siblings, our spouses, all her 9 grandchildren (ages 1 year to 12 years old), and her many friends.
With the loss of my mom I am trying to find our new "normal". I know my life will never be the same because no one can ever replace her. A friend in a miscarriage group recently posted a song on her blog that has really helped me. In the song it says, "I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground" that reminds me so much of when my mom died, my dad and husband held me up as I was screaming and calling out to God and begging for my mom...but I have felt something about me being held up because I would have been on my knees crying out. I have had to surrender the loss of my mom to God. Here is the song that has been amazing to me during this difficult time.
https://youtu.be/y1RQciil7B0
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